As well all know, the 8th year anniversary is typically wrought with bronze and lousy with pottery. But who has the space? Not me. I just realized that I’ve been in New York City for four years, and that I’ve amassed about four apartments’ worth of stuff. Some of it bronze, most of it pottery, all of it New York Knick-Knacks. And that’s a team that’s just like Knicks: We all wish we could throw it out.

“Posts? Where we’re going, we don’t need posts!” exclaimed Professor Charlie.

But actually, we do. I know I’ve been really bad this year, but in my defense, I don’t have a defense. Thanksgiving hit us in the face like a government subpoena, and I for one brought a fork to court. Welcome to fork court, motherforker! Let’s all chow down on Christmas and pray that, unlike Thanksgiving, we’ll see a turkey and not a ham. Also, way less hummus.

Pottery and Bronze does sound like an album I’d drop, doesn’t it? My debut album. It might go Platinum. Another metal. Metal jokes. Also an album I’d drop.

A lot has changed in the past four years. I need to step back and reassess. The holidays are always a good time to make large, sweeping changes to your life, right? Don’t be surprised if I dive deep below the surface and re-emerge with just my head, like the Loch Ness Monster. The Joke Ness Monster, if you will, and I know you won’t. Be prepared for an onslaught of writing on here. I’m making a prediction now, you’re a witness. You may need to testify, so don’t leave the country. I would like to stick to my weekly Wednesday schedule starting Jan 1, and wow that works nicely. So expect New Year, New Me, New Posts.

Thanks for 8 years. Here’s to 8, piecemeal, whenever I’m not too busy, more