If you're reading this, congratulations! You've made it out of the death trap that was 2016. Got a bit dicey at the end there. Bit of a spot we were in, I do say! (Sorry, I've been watching Sherlock all day.) But alas, it's over, and 2017 promises to be one hell of year too, with of the administrative changes this country is going through. But, we can keep moving, keep fighting, because it's all about the climbbb..... damnit, I've gone into a Miley Cyrus song. Sh&@! I told myself I wouldn't do that.

Now, I bet your wondering "Charlie, how did you spend your New Year's weekend, you comedian extraordinaire? What did you do you salty dog, you?" First of all, stop calling me names. Secondly, I spent the weekend at a Quaker retreat in upstate New York, because, much like everything else in 2016, my sense of fun died. If you're wondering what a Quaker retreat is, I'm not so clear on the details either, except for the fact that Quakers are peaceful, religious-but-not-in-a-Jesus-sort-of-way, and very spiritual. All of the songs that they sing use the word sunshine, for a point of reference. I got to do retreat-like things like Pilates and a massage. Technically, I was supposed to turn off my smartphone, but that was too much for my small, millennial brain to handle. I may start doing pilates this year. I don't know; how crowded are the gyms right now? Eh, I'll figure it out.

Was my first choice for this weekend an alcohol free excursion that began and ended with a Megabus ride between New York and Albany? No, that's not anybody's first choice for anything ever, but I did it because it was where I was invited. You go where your welcome when you've got nowhere to go. (Let's really push that this year. I'm talking bumper stickers, magnets, necklaces, words on the butts of girls pants. I want people to see that message. Sounded dope!) So I was happy to be included in something. Even though the room that I stayed in only had two twin beds and even though the building was so old it classified as a fire hazard, I made the best of a new situation.

That brings me to this year, 2017, in all of its shining glory. Let's go over all of my resolutions, as I've done the previous year and as I intend to keep doing for as long as I'm still doing this:

1. Stop breaking out into Miley Cyrus songs (working on it, ok?)

2. Have a recurring sketch show at a New York Comedy theater, with new sketches every time.

3. Craft a solid 10-15 minute set of stand up.

4. Perform regularly with 1 or more improv teams.

5. Write a few episodes of a television show.

6. Develop a late night television packet.

7. Write a play.

8. Release a book.

9. Attend the ever popular play 'Hamilton.'

10. Begin regular classes doing pilates, tai chi, or yoga.

11. Join a bowling league.

12. Get a new job.

This is more than enough to get started. Some of these are from last year, since I didn't get to them. That's ok. I'll do them and more this year. Here's to 2017. I'm not giving away my shot. Raise a glass!