If there's one thing 2017 is known for already, it's illness. According to the Chinese Zodiac signs, it's the year of the stomach bug/flu combo. I did not know that. That's cute. Also, I've had both and can attest to them. The stomach bug is like a cockroach, cause you try to get rid of one bug and they keep coming back. The flu is like Hillary Clinton, cause it's persistent and won't go away, no matter how much I rest and call it a nasty cold. Most recently, it's robbed me of my voice. I'm without my prized instrument right now, that sweet, monotonous, sultry voice that will put anyone to sleep unless I say something funny. It's just gone. I'm a wheezing, gravely shell of my former self. It's really no fun.

Everybody is sick, though. Like errbody. "How bad is it?" It's so bad, the office is now called the "cough"ice. Oh! It's so bad, doctor's are just asking guys to turn their heads now. Ow!! It's so bad, Kleenex has to outsource tissue production to Mexico. Ole!! Trump won't like that, I'll tell ya. No, but for real, it seems like everybody is coughing, sneezing, and wheezing their way through January. I think it has to do with the weather changes.

It's cold out, yo! (All my California readers can disregard this.) East coast, you feel me, right? I mean, you can't feel any extremities, but you feel me, right? That good, that's good. I have been out over stressing myself and exerting too much energy in the frigid cold. That'll stop. That's no way to get better, is it?

I hope you had a good first week of 2017. Last night was the Golden Globes. If you watched, it was pretty good. Meryl Streep is a genius. Jimmy Fallon was short and sweet and to the point. Trump took issue with the ceremony, but that's because it was something Golden that did it have his name on it. So, keep tweeting Mr. Trump, we know who's really doing the leading. Try to focus your efforts into productive efforts at change. And you know me, I love change. Ooh, look, a penny!

We can cross New Year's resolutions off at the end of the month. That'll be nice. Have a good week.