I hope everybody is having a wonderful Hanuchristmakwanza. All three holidays aligned this year. I haven't seen three things in this much agreement since the three Wise Men brought Jesus gold, frankincense, and mer. Now that's groupmind, baby!

I did something this year that I've never done before. I spent the holidays at my girlfriend's parents house. Her family is pretty much like mine, a nice blend of happy and traumatizing. There were parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling out in the snow. Oh no, wait, that's a song. We just went to a couple parties and opened presents. I got some good gifts, too, like a bottle of beer and book. The theme was pants and books, but I guess nobody knew my correct size, since I buy all of my pants in a larger size to make it look like I'm deathly thin. Instead, I just got a book. I'm ok with that.

Meeting someone else's extended family is interesting, to say the least. You don't know anyone, and by the time you learn all of the names of people, it's time to go. At the holidays it's especially weird, cause you get watch everyone open up their inside joke presents and then be like "Oh wow, you got a framed picture, thanks so much for the chocolate." I've since framed all of the chocolate that I've been given and will be hanging it up wherever I can.

I did miss my family, though, crazy as they may be. It felt weird to break traditions that I've been doing for 23 years, but I guess I made some people happy by spending time with loved ones. I got to experience a new outlook on the holidays, a more Christian view, you know, to offset my Jewish perception of Christmas, which is just a lounge around day filled with pajamas and Chinese food. There's more to it than that for most people. I had no clue.

I managed to also come down with a pretty intense stomach bug, so if anyone needs me, I'll be traveling between the bathroom and my bed. Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal. And a Happy New Year. I'll see you all on the other side.