DIY Guy: Clogged Sink
Well, I'm from Philadelphia, so when I woke up at noon on Monday after partying all night, the first thing I said was "Ew, I need to clean up in here. And whose ceramic goat is this?" I don't normally buy ceramic goats, so I knew it wasn't mine. One thing that I did know, however, was that I had to fix, almost immediately, the bathroom sink. It's been clogged since way before the Super Bowl. Maybe I should've called the Eagles over and told them that the drain was every other team in the NFL. They would've knocked that clog right outta there. #flyeaglesfly #slipperywhengreased
Now, I can't afford Drano, the good stuff, so I went online and looked up what I could do that I had at home, like an old wives tale, as the misogynistic saying goes. I remembered watching a video a few months back about unclogging a drain, but my hungover brain couldn't find it in my Facebook activity. The internet came to the rescue and immediately showed me how to use salt, vinegar, lemon/lime juice, and boiling water to unclog a drain.
It's not hard. You mix the salt and vinegar (equal parts) and add the lemon/lime juice for acidity. (Note: the salt will not dissolve. Don't waste time by not understanding chemistry and stirring for 10 minutes. Afterwards, I had to do what I did in chemistry class and fall asleep.) Then, you pour it down whatever drain is clogged, and let it sit for 15-30 minutes. The clog marinates in the ersatz vinaigrette that you've created and breaks up like unfaithful spouses; in the bathroom. Finally, you just need to pour boiling hot water down the drain. Careful of splash back. I've literally been burned before.
You're wondering if it works right now. I can report that, yes, it kind of works. The water used to sit in the sink and now goes down. I should say that I did two rounds of it, but I think I took a page out of the government's playbook and partially fixed the issue. I was impressed, because basically, I took things from the kitchen and fixed it. I threw everything but the kitchen sink at it, because two clogs don't make a right. I didn't follow all the rules because I'm not a cuck. I am my own person. But hey, moral of the story is that it kind of works, if you don't mind the number one complaint on the Titanic today: a salty sink.
Join me next time on DIY Guy, a segment that I'm starting right here, right now. Maybe next time, I'll tell you how to remove a stain from a shirt. #TideAd It's helpful, sort of.