Factory Jobs

Did I ever tell you about the time that I worked in a mirror factory? No? Oh, well I worked in a mirror factory for a while, but then I left because the work wasn’t an appropriate reflection of my abilities. Yeah, I just couldn’t see myself working there anymore. It’s no big deal, please don’t call me vain. I left to pursue other opportunities.

Did I ever tell you about the time that I worked in a pun factory? No? Oh, well I worked in a pun factory one summer to earn some disposable income. On inspection day, they selected my ten best puns and judged them on quality. Did any of them make the cut? No pun in ten did. It was a “pun”ful experience.

That's Where I Know Them From....

If you're like me, you know who every actor is in what you are watching. But, alas, not everyone is like me. So, luckily enough for you, I will enlighten you on who the actor is and where you may know them from.

Jack Nicholson: You probably know him from The Shining, but he's more famous for Mars Attacks!.

Jennifer Lawrence: You probably know her from X-Men: First Class, but she's more famous for The Beaver.

Leonardo DiCaprio: You probably know him from Critters 3, but he's more famous for The Basketball Diaries. 

Halle Berry: You probably know her from New Year's Eve, but she's more famous for The Flintstones.  

Liam Neeson: You probably know him from Schindler's List, but he's more famous for Battleship. 

Emma Stone: You probably know her from Superbad, but she's more famous for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. 

 

 

 

 

Fun. Facts

​Jack Antonoff, lead guitarist of the band Fun., is dating Lena Dunham of the TV show GIRLS. Interestingly enough, they met the same way Lena's character Hannah meets guys on the show; after having sex two times in a row.

Did you know that Fun. currently has 2 albums out right now, one called Aim and Ignite and one called Some Nights? However, unlike its name, Aim and Ignite was a misfire.​

Early spellings of the bands name included Fun;, fun!, ¡Fún!, and Fun?.

The music video for the song "We Are Young" shows a slow motion scene that blends a food fight with a barroom brawl, all while Fun. is playing on stage. I don't know, to me the stage looked less Fun. than the barroom. In any case, the brawl taking place was completely disrespectful to the band members on stage, who were merely trying to slow motion sing their way to the top of the charts. 

Fun. has received 26 nominations over their career. They've won 4 times. So, it's obviously more Fun. just to be nominated.​

I've Been Thinking

You know, I've been thinking lately. To me, this blog is a real blog's blog. This isn't your grandma's blog. If it was, it would be called "Hand Me My Purse, Honey."​ And nobody wants that. Probably not, at least. But again, I've been thinking. We need to get this blog out to the world, because occasionally something good will come along. Not all the time, mind you, but sometimes, not never. Never say never, as that one Canadian girl singer put it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've been thinking. I mean, do people say I'm funny? Well, is the Pope Argentinian? They do, and he is. 

Q&A with Spring Break

Charlie: Hello, Spring Break. Thank you for taking the time to sit down and talk with me.

Spring Break: It's chill dude. Wooo!!!! Spring Break!!

Charlie: Great, and if you’ll just put your shirt back on, we can get started. Now, how   were you conceived?

Spring Break: Wha… What?! Dude, I’m so wasted right now.

Charlie: Ah, I see. Ok and just to follow up with that response, do you consider the time that you spend drunk wasted?

Spring Break:  The f---? What’s your problem, you assh---.

Charlie: No need to take offense, I’m just pushing your buttons. But seriously, what do you like most about yourself?

Spring Break: I’m just doing me, brah. Man, the girls, man…when they’re around me, they go wild!!

Charlie: Ah yes. About that. Is it true that the Girls Gone Wild company is filing for bankruptcy?

Spring Break: All I know is that Ed Wynn beat us in court.

Charlie: Woah, wait I think you mean Steve Wynn, the casino owner.

Spring Break: Well, dude all I know is that now we are in chapter 11 of some book. And we barely have monies for tequila.

Charlie: Yeah, ok, that’s great. Do you have anything else to add to our interview?

Spring Break: Nah brah, it’s cool. Yo, you got a bathroom around here? I gotta empty the snake.

Charlie: Down the hall and to the right. Thanks for the interview.

Spring Break: …yea…… (stumbling) 

​

Welcome

You've just gone down the rabbit hole. Now you're checked in and can never leave. ​It's basically Hotel Charlifornia. Be that as it may, welcome to the new (and improved?) blog. All of your favorite posts are here, and unfortunately so are the rest. This is now the place to go. Sign up to follow it where you can. The blog on blogspot.com will be abandoned like a baby on prom night. I can't guarantee that the material will be better, but this is a real website, where anything can happen. The possibilities are as endless as the soup and bread sticks at Olive Garden. I'm really trying to step up my game. Making things legit one step at a time. So enjoy the new site. Think of it as my blog getting a face lift, or as I call it, "sarcastic surgery." Read well and prosper. 

404 File Not Found

"The file you are looking for has removed by the user."

You may be wondering why you are getting this error message. Rest assured you are not receiving this message in error. It's because this will be my last post on here. Some of you are thinking "Yes. Good," and some of you are thinking "No. Bad," and some of you are thinking "Why am I still reading this? I'm just gonna read a little further to see if anything good happens." But I am not without a plan. The blog is being discontinued on here, and continued here: http://www.peoplesayimfunny.com/

​

Be Concise

I already feel like I've said too much, and I haven't even said anything yet. That's how worried I am about being concise. Don't use too many words. Ever. People will hate you for it. The best place to learn concision is not a high school or college English class. It's on twitter. To be able to express your thought gems in 140 characters or less, and that's characters, not letters, is extremely daunting. When it tells me 140 characters or less, I give it this look as if I've been told that the Pope quit. "That's impossible, there's no physical way."  But alas, I can always do it. Thanks twitter. Another way to experience concision is when you are talking to a stupid person. You know, short, quick sentences, no big words. Again, plenty of stupid people are on twitter, and the entirety of the internet for that matter, so have at it. If you've been to the comments section of a YouTube video, you know what I'm puttin' down. Alright, I've taken up enough of your time. So..., yep... I... will... talk to you... later. Have a good day.

This or That?


Over the time that you have spent getting to know my writing, you may feel as though you know me. Or maybe it's the exact opposite. Either way, I'm going to answer some questions for you in an effort to further your knowledge of my interests and beliefs. 

Fighters or Boxers?
I think boxers because I don't like how real fighting is.

Boxers or Briefs?
Briefs, because I'm not long.

Briefs or Memos?
Memos because compared to a brief, aren't they shorter? And is that counterintuitive to the name brief?

Memos or Creative Writing?
Creative writing because I didn't get the memo not to.

Creative Writing or Writing with Rules?
Still creative writing.

Laws or Prison?
Laws because prison is scary. I've seen LockUp Raw on like MSNBC, or CNN, or TLC, which I think is The LockUp Raw Channel. One of those channels.

Prison or Jail?
Ehh, sometimes I call it both.

Going to Jail or a Ke$ha concert?
This is a tough one. On the one hand, you've got a bunch of angry men who don't want to be where they are. And on the other hand you've got jail. I'd probably go with the concert, because it will actually be a shorter length of time, although it may feel longer.

*The More You Know*