Charlie: Hello, Spring Break. Thank you for taking the time to sit down and talk with me.

Spring Break: It's chill dude. Wooo!!!! Spring Break!!

Charlie: Great, and if you’ll just put your shirt back on, we can get started. Now, how were you conceived?

Spring Break: Wha… What?! Dude, I’m so wasted right now.

Charlie: Ah, I see. Ok and just to follow up with that response, do you consider the time that you spend drunk wasted?

Spring Break: The f---? What’s your problem, you assh---.

Charlie: No need to take offense, I’m just pushing your buttons. But seriously, what do you like most about yourself?

Spring Break: I’m just doing me, brah. Man, the girls, man…when they’re around me, they go wild!!

Charlie: Ah yes. About that. Is it true that the Girls Gone Wild company is filing for bankruptcy?

Spring Break: All I know is that Ed Wynn beat us in court.

Charlie: Woah, wait I think you mean Steve Wynn, the casino owner.

Spring Break: Well, dude all I know is that now we are in chapter 11 of some book. And we barely have monies for tequila.

Charlie: Yeah, ok, that’s great. Do you have anything else to add to our interview?

Spring Break: Nah brah, it’s cool. Yo, you got a bathroom around here? I gotta empty the snake.

Charlie: Down the hall and to the right. Thanks for the interview.

Spring Break: …yea…… (stumbling)