Happy New Years!!! If you haven't already been made aware, today is the day when we turn the clocks and calendars forward. So stop writing 2017 on your checks, and also stop using checks. It's 2018.

My, how a year has come and gone. 2017 was the only year on record that simultaneously flew by and crawled by. 2017 was more of a train wreck than 2015, the year the movie Trainwreck actually came out. But all in all, we can learn a bunch from the recent past and move on to bigger, brighter dumpster fires of a years. You know me, always looking at the positives.

It's a new year, folks, and with that comes my resolutions. Here they are, in all their shining glory:

1. Start drinking 1% milk (it was a relationship compromise, and by compromise I mean I'm whipped, like heavy cream).

2. Have a recurring sketch show at a New York Comedy theater, with new sketches every time.

3. Craft a solid 10-15 minute set of stand up.

4. Perform more with my girlfriend (a duo called Shewitt).

5. Finish a spec script of a TV show and an original show.

6. Develop a late night television packet (close, but close only counts in government work).

7. Write a one act play.

8. Release a book of the posts on here.

9. Track my spending on a very strict level, like down to the penny, and plan financially.

10. Begin regular classes doing pilates, tai chi, or yoga.

11. Eat at more fancy restaurants and sample the food that NYC has to offer.

12. Get a new job. (It's complicated.)

13. Write and perform a solo show.

These are the leftovers from last year plus a few new ones sprinkled in. I am going to track my money to see where it goes this year. I need get more financially stable in 2018. I hope to build my savings up and get out of debt. Besides that my creative ideas are hopefully ambitious and doable. Gotta strive to survive, as I just made up.

Anyway, nurse that hangover today and get ready for tomorrow. We are tackling 2018 like a defensive tight end. And yes, we will give it a concussion and permanent brain damage, cause that's just how you play the game. Ready, set, hike!