Somehow, I ended up with a free night tonight. That's good, because I need all of the rest and relaxation that I can get. You see, I have a hard time slowing down here in New York City. There is just so much to do all of the time, and I feel like I have to be doing all of it. Money? I need to go make that. Comedy? I need to go make that. Spaghetti sauce from scratch? I need to go make that. Do you get what I'm saying? There is so much to do and so little time to do it.

But, then again, when I get one of these rare, mysterious, easy going nights at home, I think to myself "This is nice..." Because it is. I'm one of these people who doesn't like to slow down, but acknowledges that slowing down might be a good thing. I especially need to turn down this week so that I can turn up this weekend. This weekend I turn 25. "Ahh to be 25 again," I'll say when I'm 26. The world is my oyster and my oyster is market price! (I'm working on making that a household catchphrase, thought the saying could use a 2017 boost.) Time for me to tear this town to pieces like Siegfried and Roy's tiger did to Roy's face. Who's with me?! (Runs outside naked through the cold rain, screaming at the top of his lungs.)

Whoops! I can't afford to get sick anymore! That was a bad idea. I'm freezing cold now. I guess I should stay inside the rest of the night and relax. Get some of that rest and relaxation that I won't shut up about. That good 'ole R&R railroad. (Sorry, just finishing a game of Monopoly, and by that I mean that the people that I'm playing with fell asleep. I should do that too.) Because remember, you can't spell the word 'relaxations' without the word 'rest.' (I added an 's' onto relaxation to make this work. I knew it wasn't going to on its own.) Have a good week. I'll see ya when I'm 25.