Contrary to what Florence Welch may expertly sing to you, the dog days are not over. They're here, right now. Fun Fact: They call them the dog days of summer because this is the time of the year when the movie industry annually releases a new Beethoven the dog movie. This year it's Beethoven: Paws for Laughs, wherein Beethoven tries improv comedy. It actually gets pretty good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes at 67%. It's also the time of the year when everything slows down. The hot sluggish air rolls into the area and sticks around for days, like a bad roommate. People decide to escape the madness and go on vacation. Side note: Vacations are only fun if you're on them. It's torture to have to listen to someone tell you about their vacation. Actually, the FBI uses that as an interrogation technique. It goes waterboarding, electric shock collar, white woman telling you about her cruise through the Mediterranean. But I can't say anymore about that, because if I do, I'll have to kill you. And I don't want to kill you, because I can't afford to lose the view count. See? You matter to me.

What I'm trying to say is that it's a rough time to be working outside, because it's hot and muggy, and a rough time to be working inside, because you wish you were outside laying at the beach. Catch 22. But cheer up. These days won't last forever, you global warming fanatic. Have some faith. Fall will bring some cool temperatures, red and brown leaves, and more stable outdoor work. Stay cool out there this week. Drink water. If you're not going to the bathroom a lot, then you aren't drinking enough water. Also, you're probably not diabetic, as that is a tell tale sign. So you're healthy but too hot. Or you're hot but not too healthy. Either way, I'm going to watch the new Beethoven movie. I hear it will have you "barking with laughter."