Well, you can all start thanking me for bringing the good weather from California back to the east coast as a souvenir (I accept monetary donations). It was not easy, but as we all know, I am God-like. (Note the use of the word "like." See, I can still be humble.)

Remember how I complained about being busy? My schedule is now as clear as the sky in California. But do you know who's schedule is not clear from now on? That's right! Hilary Clinton! #Billary2016

Here is what I hope will happen. I want her to be elected. Hooray! First white, female president, yada yada yada, all that jazz. Then, I want her to be giving a speech at a podium, and I want some soon be author to emerge from underneath, analogous to the previous incident with her husband. Then, he will write the book about the affair, simply titled "Fifty Shades of Gray." That's gray, not grey. Completely different books. From there, the story basically tells itself.

I should go into politics. You don't need school for that, do you? You just need a rich family, right? I'll see what I can do. No promises. No guarantees. For now, I'm exhausted, traveling sucks, people are morons, the world is a scary place. That's what the last six months taught me. That being said, I loved every minute of it.