I take surveys online for money (Hey, 47 cents is 47 cents.) Back in the day, say 2009, business was booming. I was on several different survey sites at the same time, really over exerting myself for a 25 dollar Amazon or GameStop gift card every few months. Those several sites were UTalkBack, Zoompanel, and MyView. Since then, UTalkBack has become E-Rewards, Zoompanel has gotten worse, MyView has disappeared completely, and I have joined a new site called InboxDollars. So, I'm still on three survey sites, but I've adjusted for the times. It's not glamorous. It's not lucrative. It's not quick and easy. But, I've been doing it for years, and I've saved on video games, Amazon products, and movie tickets for one.

You may be wondering what all of these fascinating surveys are about? Well, fine reader, they range from grocery shopping to television programs to everything in between. They generally take about 20 minutes to complete, but can be done in 15 if you click the bubbles in a fun design without actually reading the questions (I usually do diagonal lines, like a zigzag). You have to answer age, ethnicity, zip code, state, household income, and gender at the beginning of each survey (and also the end for some strange reason). Some surveys involve video watching, but most are just tedious and annoying.

Are you sold yet on joining a survey panel? Because if you are, I can get you a deal where when you sign up, I get a little kickback on the side. Spoiler alert; the deal is for me. But I would hold off on joining for a second, because sometimes the surveys are a little strange and a little too personal.

One survey that I recently took started with following questions.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold up! What? When I read this, I literally sat up in my chair and screamed "I NEED AN ADULT!!" How can it ask me this? It got even weirder when the next page asked me to turn my head and cough.

My final response to the survey was "No. Why? Should I?" This was more awkward than the time that a survey straight up asked me if I was racist. Yes, one survey asked me how I felt about black people on a scale of 0 to 5. What? That's racist. (That's the last time that I fill out a survey for KlanPanel.com!) Listen, I'm no doctor, but I don't think any of these options are good. Lumps, bumps, bends, oh my! This is more of the type of stuff that I would discuss with my physician, not a survey on the computer. It turns out that I didn't qualify for the survey (I don't know anyone who would), so there's 50 cents that I won't be seeing. This isn't the first time that my lump less penis has cost me money, but that's a story for another week.