RING!!!!! RING!!!!! RING!!!!! Is someone going to get that? I would, except that I am awful at talking on the phone to other people. I bet I'm not the only one. Kids these days don't know how to talk on the phone. We all just use Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. It's crazy. So for whatever the reason, I am not good at talking on the phone. I clam up like an entrée at Red Lobster. And I sweat, like I'm eating an entrée at Red Lobster. Just a full menopausal sweat. Which is weird, because I'm too young to be going through menopause. I also get soft spoken and nervous. I'm sorry; I mean more soft spoken and nervous than I already am. If I can take my clothes off when I'm on the phone, I do.

It's a big problem. Because sometimes, when I'm making an important phone call to someone, they'll ask "Charlie, what's that pitter-patter noise in the background?" And then I have to say "Oh, that? Sorry, I'm in the shower right now." I don't know why I sweat so much and get so uncomfortable. I'll work on it. But hey, even though I get really uncomfortable, the pizza still shows up on time.