I am going to be frank for a second. I don't like cheese. There, I said it. Right now you're saying "What?!!!!" and that's been the normal response, until I talked to this one guy. His response has been the best so far. Here's the dialogue we had:

Me: I don't like cheese.

Guy: You don't like cheese? What?!!

Me: I just don't like it.

Guy: You don't put cheese on a sandwich?

Me: Nope. Turkey with Ketchup. (Hey we all have our problems!) I suppose now you'll ask what I do about pizza.

Guy: You don't eat pizza?

Me: No I eat pizza.

Guy: Oh, but does it taste good? (Guy thinks I eat it with cheese on it)

Me: Yeah I get it without cheese.

Guy: What? No single place will ever make you a no cheese pizza. (Ok you're an idiot)

Me: Uh yes they will.

Idiot: I have never seen that. Have you told your parents about this?

Me: No, I'm looking for the right way to come out of the closet about cheese. (Alright you are officially a moron) They are actually very supportive. I’m pretty sure its hereditary.

Moron: I can’t talk to you anymore. It’s too weird.

Me: Don't worry; the feeling is mutual.

I'm Gouda be Brie for a second. I don't like cheese. I'm not a Muenster. Don't sit there and try to Teleme that if I try it I'll like it. You can say what Chimay, I won't try it. Don't call me unAmerican, just leave me Provolone about it. I Livno lies and I refuse to change. (I'm going to stop; This is starting to sound cheesy.)