As we all know, Thursday is the day when your family comes over and takes your kitchen apart. I'm sorry, I meant to say it’s Thanksgiving, a time when we are thankful that the pilgrims ate stuffing and watched football. It's also a time for reflecting on what's good in your life. That is the main goal. But don't forget to eat until you hate yourself!

How many times do you say thank you each day? If it's not a lot, you're doing it wrong (should be around 15). We should all be thankful for whatever we have that has made us happy, energized, excited, or just filled with us glee (except for the show Glee, which no one is thankful for). I challenge you to go around and count the number of times you say thank you this week. This will do two things: one, it will annoy you, and two, it will make you appreciate the word. I do this, and you know what is fun? When I'm not really listening as I talk to someone, and I end up subconsciously responding to what they say. They'll say "Thank you" and I'll say "Thanks you too." Awkward thank yous rule!! Seriously though, Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we need to prepare.

Here's a checklist:

1. Clean your house

2. Buy a turkey

3. Cook the turkey

4. Tell relatives to each bring something different (we don't need ten pies)

5. Hide valuables

6. Eat at 4:30

7. Watch football like you know what's going on

8. Kick everyone out at 8:00

9. Go shopping at Walmart at midnight

Follow these guidelines, and it should be a pleasant Thanksgiving.

Alright, let's talk Turkese. Gobble gobble, gobble, gobble gobble gobble..... Oh crap you probably don't speak Turkese. I used Rosetta Stone. Cost me an arm and leg (of turkey!). My bad, I’ll translate. I think l said "Dark meat is where it's at." The gobble is hard to conjugate and it gets tricky when you talk to Tom Turkeys. I caught one turkey watching me as I learned. He was a peeping Tom Turkey. (ba dump, tsssss)

Let me get to the meat of what I'm trying to say. Thanksgiving is a precious time to be with family and celebrate what you are thankful for. It doesn't have to be anything big; remember, size doesn't matter. What's that? Size does matter? Oh sorry, you want to see a list of what I'm thankful for. Ok.

I'm Thankful For:

1. My friends, real and imaginary

2. My family, real and imaginary

3. My career choices

4. My money; it can't buy me happiness, but it can sure as hell try

5. TV shows, without which, I do not believe I could waste time effectively

6. Thanksgiving food, 'nough said

7. The kid’s room (kitchen), adult’s room (dining room), and lazy adult’s room (living room)

8. Giant silverfish, and the respect that comes with catching them and moving them to outside; they don't call me the Bugmeister for nothing...

9. Watching what I eat.... for that brief second before I put it in mouth and chew it up

10. Black Friday and Cyber Monday - see #4

11. The upcoming Christmas (and Hanukkah and Kwanza) season, because it's the season of giving (I’m not much of a giver, but I will gladly take others giving’s)

12. And finally.... you the reader, without you these are just words on a page, you give them meaning, thanks!!

So, in conclusion, Thanksgiving is a time to just hang out, relax, and eat with family and friends. It's also a time to watch parades, a football game, and any specials on TV at night (this Thanksgiving, it’s a Lady Gaga special. It might be cool to see her dressed as the insides of a turkey, or a pilgrim, or stuffing, I’m sure we'll see something new; as a suggestion, I would eat beforehand.

Well, that about wraps things up. Have a good week and Happy Thanksgiving!!